Splintered Affect
by Moony3003
Summary: Quirinus Quirrell's school life wasn't easy but it was made worse when his ideas of love were shattered, changing everything.


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter does not belong to me.

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Splintered Affect

Every day he watched her and today was no different. The potions classroom was boiling hot from the several cauldrons that were lit up at each large table. It was also dark as the windows had been blocked and the smell of cooked slug was slowly making its way from each cauldron to fill the closed off classroom. But even as it intensified, it was almost as though no one had noticed.

From a table at the back, a lithe fifteen year old boy, swathed in blue robes watched a couple of girls standing at the stone basin, watching them as they washed their hands that had become stained from the bat spleen juice that had accidently been knocked over. He didn't exactly see how it happened as although he had been looking at the table, he wasn't interested in the potion being made.

The pale blue eyes stared at the chocolate brown hair that cascaded down her back, over her blue robes. Even in the dimness of the classroom her pale skin gleamed at him and he let his mind drift for a moment. Was her pale beauty as soft to touch as it looked? Most nights it was the question he asked himself whenever he let the fantasy return. It's what normally got him through.

The tap turned off and she walked back to her table with the Gryffindor student she'd been working with and disappointment flooded his body. That had been the closest they'd been since the first Quidditch match of the school year and that was months ago. Even from the brief, close encounter, he could feel his heart skip a beat but it was now gone.

"Mr. Quirrell, have you finished?"

Despite his daydreaming, the work hadn't gone unattended. Quirinus had just corked the vial in which he'd poured the completed potion in and he handed it over without a word. He was one of the last to leave the classroom but it was easy to catch up to the object of his only desire.

The stifling air of the dungeons was gone, replaced with fresh air from the open doors that led into the school grounds. Compared to other wizarding schools, Hogwarts had, by far, the best grounds, in Quirinus' opinion anyway. Ahead of him, he could still see them. The girl he focused on was flanked by two others and they had crossed the quad and were heading over the viaduct.

They were halfway across the massive stone structure when Quirinus stepped at the entrance, almost bumping into two bulky Slytherin's as he did so, moving faster so it would take them longer to realise what happened. But neither seemed to notice him slink by and he skipped in his step to not lose sight of the three friends.

The Black Lake was soon in view when the stone viaduct came to an end. The group he watched went to the water's edge where they sat, their bags sliding off their shoulders and onto the solid ground with a collective thump, the books in their arms following straight after. Laughter drifted along the air from them as something amusing struck each of them.

As Quirinus's back hit the trunk of a oak tree metres away, an ache rose up in his chest as he looked on. Cassandra, or Cassie as she was known to her friends, had a large smile across her fair skin, the dark green eyes shining with amusement. Beside her, a redheaded girl with pigtails and chubby cheeks leaned forward and whispered something. It set off the laughter again and Cassie's hand gripped her friends arm but whatever she was attempting to achieve appeared to have failed as her body continued to shake with laughter. Just once he wanted to receive a touch from her hand or gaze from her eyes even by accident. He would take anything from her.

The hope for something between them had always remained with him. One of the reasons he watched was to build enough confidence to talk to her and maybe ask her out. The first time the notion hit him, he considered it but even when Cassie was alone, doing rounds as a prefect, he had chickened out, convincing himself that it wasn't the right time.

It had almost been a year since that night. Since then he had considered ways of asking that didn't make him look foolish or sound stupid. But as time kept passing, he felt like he kept missing his chances and outside of their tower, she was barely without her friends, which at times was annoying.

' _Maybe I should ask now?'_ thought Quirinus.

But the thought slid free from his mind as his legs turned weak and he slid down the tree trunk, hitting the ground hard but it went unnoticed as despair crept in, replacing the temporary annoyance he'd felt before. Another blow came when two boys approached the girls and sat beside them, a tall, musclier one squeezing in beside Cassie. Anger abruptly joined the despair he was feeling.

For only a moment, he stayed to watch the young lovebirds interact, being unashamed to kiss and flirt with their friends surrounding them. A look of disgust came across Quirinus's pale face and he stood up, his eyes narrowing as he stared at them for another, long second. It seemed Cassie had found someone. When did it happen? How did he miss it?

He then turned his back on them and walked away, hating what he'd seen. The private moment was out in the open for everyone to see and deep down, he thought Cassie was better then that. Quirinus' walking pace quickened and he headed towards the to the library, wanting to focus on more important things and squash out all the ideas of love he had within him.


End file.
